Break Me
by blue.skies.2010
Summary: Set after 2.5, Blair goes to confront Chuck about his role in her dethroning. She's angry, he's stubborn, she's broken, and he's clueless.


**Note:** Okay, so this is totally different from the other two fics I've posted on here. I wrote it on a sticky note on my desktop, so it's not exactly a work of art, but I think it's okay...so I thought I might as well post it and see what people think? It's Chuck and Blair fighting after 2.5 - Blair's lost everyone and she's confronting Chuck about it, and she's in the middle of a mental breakdown in his room when the fic starts..........

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"Not only that, but you completely humiliated me! I mean, really, what the hell did I think I was doing? You? This? Us? You've only ever cared about yourself, Bass, and you prove that to me time and time again."

Blair was pissed. Chuck should have known it was coming, after he practically gloated about his role in her dethroning and the installation of her best friend as the new queen, but somehow he thought she might just come and ask for his help getting it back. His logic really didn't make much sense, but then again, it never did when it came to Blair. And here she was, in his suite, knocking back scotch and subsequently chucking the glasses across the room, smiling as they shattered against the opposite wall. Glass flew everywhere, and Chuck tried to suppress his smirk. He failed.

"You know, all these glass shards could really take an eye out..."

"What are you, my mother, Bass? Please." She filled a new glass, took a big gulp, and this time hurled the actual scotch across the room.

"Jesus Christ Blair! What the fuck?!?" Chuck yelled, as the amber liquid sprayed everywhere, staining the wall, the carpet, his shirt...while under normal circumstances this would have been highly amusing, that was his scotch, and he was pissed.

"Oops, my mistake," Blair grinned as she played with her empty glass, flashing him that fake innocence that she had perfected since birth.

Chuck let out a soft growl in response. He was really at a loss for words.

They both just stood there, breathing, Chuck glaring at Blair and Blair staring at the mirror on the wall opposite her.

She was completely lost in her reflection: her frazzled brown hair, crooked headband, rumpled uniform, barely covering her obvious flaws. Everything she had, everything she had worked so hard to get, to maintain, to earn...everything was gone. Again. Thanks to Chuck. Again. Last time he pushed her into running away, and Serena had saved her. Well, Serena wouldn't save her this time. But...maybe Chuck could still push her away. She was broken enough. A few more choice words from Chuck, and there'd be no coming back. She'd be done. Blair hadn't even noticed the tears welling in her eyes, but she had made her decision. She was getting out, and Chuck was once again her ticket.

Blair turned to face him, clearing her throat slightly, trying to swallow the tears that were fighting to escape.

"I hope you're proud, Bass"

"Proud that I had a hand in this monumental breakdown? Proud doesn't even begin to cover it" He smirked. He liked this, he could do this. Cold and unforgiving. Hurt her just as bad as she hurt him. Maybe even worse. Oh, how Chuck adored winning.

"Proud that you've taken everything from me. My friends - my best friend, my position, my life. Ha, I wouldn't be surprised if you had a part in taking away Marcus too, but I doubt even you would be sick enough to tell him to fuck his stepmother"

Chuck sputtered "I'm sorry, what?"

"Oh, you hadn't heard?" Blair feigned surprise, even through her tears. She was just handing him ammunition. "Yes well apparently Lady Catherine doesn't just screw random teenage boys, she's even sleeping with her own step son! Well, you can imagine how that break up went..."

Her eyes were filled with pain, but everything came out so confrontationally that Chuck really didn't know if he should take the offense, or the defense, or just screw it all and try to comfort her. Unfortunately, pride made Chuck choose option A.

"So I guess I had it wrong. It wasn't that Marcus couldn't satisfy you, it was..." He let his sentence trail off. She'd get the picture, he didn't have to say it. Ooh, and it was definitely effective.

Blair set him up for it, she knew that. And yet somehow, it hurt her, even more than she thought it would. Her master plan was to get Chuck to hurt her, so why was she so surprised that he did? Suddenly, in addition to her desire to be hurt, she wanted to inflict some hurt. She turned back to Chuck, tears now rapidly sliding down her face, and braced herself for what she was about to do. She'd send him over the edge. Then, hopefully, he'd return the favor.

"So that's what you think, huh?" she muttered quietly.

"Well, it's certainly what one would guess. I can't say I'm surprised either."

"So what does that mean, Chuck? I wasn't a good lay? Is that what you're saying? Got no pleasure from me? You didn't pine over me, didn't want to crawl away and die the second you found out I was back to screwing your best friend? Hm? You didn't spend months trying to get me back? Because really, Chuck, all that shit you pulled, everything you did...you would never have done it if I wasn't good. I mean, really, the whole thing was…kind of pathetic, Chuck."

Now he was mad. He was furious. He was...not even forming thoughts. He was just yelling.

"You know what, Blair, maybe I just enjoyed the game. Maybe it was kind of fun, kind of risky. It was entertaining as all hell. But when it gets down to it, I don't even think it was worth it."

"What are you saying, Bass" She was gasping for air now, her sobs so strangled, but he was so far gone he hardly noticed.

"I'm saying you're not worth it."

That did it. She was done. She felt the world swirl beneath her, but she would not fall. Not until she was safely away from him.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way." She said quietly, quickly moving towards the door, but then turning back.

"You know what, Chuck? You've done a lot of really stupid things. Really, fucking, stupid. You're an idiot. And a jerk. And a self-centered pig. You're an ass! You're entirely clueless. You think you've got this all figured out?" She's marching towards him now, determination gleaming through her tears.

He backed away a little, threatened. "You have completely destroyed me. Twice. And I'm done now. I'm not coming back. But know this," Blair continued, taking a large breath before she came within touching distance of Chuck, who had a look of amused terror in his eyes.

"You think I'm not worth it?? Really? Do you think you are? You're...you're all those things I just called you, and way worse things, but you know what? I gave you a chance. Two chances! Because I thought there was something good in there."

She poked his chest, hard, and he winced.

She scoffed, bitterly. "Clearly, I was mistaken, and I won't be making that mistake again. I hate you Chuck, and I hope I never have to see you again. I'm sure I won't."

Something tugged at him now. He sensed an urgency in her voice, and he was suddenly very afraid of what was about to happen.

She smiled softly, pain and anger and frustration and sadness radiating off her body. "Goodbye, Chuck."

She turned and was almost out the door when she heard a small voice behind her:

"I love you, Blair."

She stuttered. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I said I love you."

Blair stopped, resting her head on the door softly, and exhaled deeply. Then she whirled around in an angry fit. She marched back across the room, fire blazing in her eyes as she approached the meek little boy who had just confessed feelings he not so long ago wasn't even sure he was capable of. He was terrified of rejection, of what might happen now that his whole heart was actually out there. She could see this, she saw this clearly, but that did not soften her resolve one bit. Blair was mad.

"What the hell, Bass?!" She yelled as she smacked him across the face. Hard.

"What the fuck, Blair?!" He cried. Damn. He had not expected that. Clearly this wasn't the ideal time for heartfelt confessions, but damn it she was going to leave, so he swallowed his stupid pride, and for what? To get smacked in the face? This was so, so wrong.

"How, could you?!" Blair shoved Chuck violently before stepping back, to pace. "I was this close, Chuck – this close! – to getting out of here. And you think you can just throw that at me, and what, just make me magically forgive you and jump into your arms or something?" She was getting dangerously close again and Chuck wasn't sure if he could take much more abuse.

"Jesus Blair, what do you want? Do you want me to apologize? Do you want – "

"Take it back" She interrupted, stepping into him.

"Take it back?!" he asked incredulously.

"Yes Chuck. Take it fucking back."

"You're kidding. Are you fucking kidding me? I finally say it, and you want me to take it back?" Chuck was seconds away from smashing something. He was angry, he was confused, he was…in love? This was fucking ridiculous. What the hell was she doing to him?!!

"Chuck, you don't understand. All I needed, was for you to make me hurt. To completely rip me apart, destroy me, like you did last year, in the bar. Then I could go. Then I could start over. Then I'd be free. And you did it! You totally did it, and I was out of here, I was gone. Hello, new life! But no, now you have to tell me you love me?! How can I run away, when I know you'll be sitting over here, brooding, being in love with me, willing to tell me everything I've wanted since the wedding, since before then, probably since that night in Victrola, on some level. Maybe even before that. Who fucking knows anymore? You think I can run away from this? You bastard. I hate you for doing this to me." Blair sank softly into the couch, and placed her head delicately in her hands, sobs raking her body.

Chuck stood, immobile, in a daze, allowing the words to sink in. She wanted him to drive her away. Like last time. Because this time no one would save her. Realization dawned on him, and he instantly regretted each and every snide remark he had made since she arrived in his suite. No, each and every snide remark he had made, ever. He regretted abandoning her, he regretted that night in the bar, he regretted the cotillion. He regretted not saying those three words when she gave him the chance. The only thing he could not make himself regret was saying them now. And he would say them over and over until it made her stay, until and made her smile, until it made her say them back.

Chuck walked over to her, crouching in front of her so their faces were at the same level. He smoothed out her hair as he brought her face to his. "I love you." He whispered. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for those things I said. I'm sorry for everything I've done to hurt you. I'm sorry that you want me to drive you away. But Blair – Blair look at me – I'm not sorry that I love you, okay? I can't be. And I'll love you if you run away to France. I'll love you if you run out on me right now. I'll love you if you don't speak to me, if you run back to fucking Nathanial, I'll still love you. Because this is bigger than me now. And I hate it so much, because I don't know how to handle it. And I might…lash out, a little. Maybe you've noticed…"

Blair smiled softly, exhaling a long-held breath, so Chuck placed a small peck on her forehead before continuing:

"You have to understand, Blair, that I'm going to suck at this. And I'm going to screw up. But I'm going to try so hard. Because I love you, and I need you, and, Jesus Blair, can you please stop crying? You are making this really damn difficult."

A loud sob emerged from Blair's lips right before she crashed them onto Chuck's. He responded eagerly, and they remained there, tongues swirling, bodies pressed, hands exploring. Finally, Blair pulled away, breathless. She smiled at the boy in front of her, who had effectively killed her inside and then brought her back to life in a single conversation. He was smiling up at her, which made her grin widen, which made his too. She brought a hand to his face, and he turned his head and kissed her palm, then turned back to face her, allowing her to caress his cheek.

"So I guess I'm not leaving…" She mumbled.

"Guess not" He replied. His eyes were searching hers, and she sighed softly.

"So I guess you're going to have to help me take down Serena…"

"With pleasure, my queen" Chuck's reply was accompanied by a knowing smirk.

"Hey Bass, don't get too excited. We need to do this without hurting her. She's still my best friend, even if she's totally outbitching me right now." Blair grinned, with both amusement and intent, her brain already spinning through ideas.

Chuck pulled her closer. "First of all, no one, not even the great Serena Van der Woodsen, can outbitch Blair Waldorf." Blair laughed in agreement at this statement. "Second of all, I am all for plotting, but there were some things I thought we could take care of before we begin…" He captured her lips with his own, quickly deepening the kiss and settling on top of her.

"Chuck…" Blair whispered, disconnecting her mouth and pushing him up a little.

Chuck sighed. "What is it, Waldorf?"

"As much fun as this is, and really, I am thoroughly enjoying it, you did only just win back my heart, you said a lot of pretty terrible things to me, and you have yet to fix the problem at hand, which drove me here in the first place. So I'd say you have a little more to make up for before we do this." Blair was grinning triumphantly as she forced herself into a sitting position.

"Well that didn't last long" Chuck said, sighing.

"Hey, you could have been rid of me!"

"Maybe I should have." Blair raised her eyebrows at this. He immediately folded. God, he was such a pussy. "You know I don't mean that" he said gruffly, bringing her hands to his lips and kissing them softly.

"I know." She replied, grinning again. "You love me!" She nearly giggled.

Shit. "You're not supposed to use that against me! That should work in my favor! Seriously, how are we not having sex right now?" Chuck tried to salvage a little of his pride, but failed miserably, of course.

"Chuck Bass, if that 'I love you' was just to get into my pants, so help me-" She was silenced as he pulled her into his lips again. He kissed her softly, delicately, smiling into her mouth as she pulled away.

She sighed. "You really do love me, huh?"

"You're a genius, Waldorf. Really, Yale is lucky to get you." He smirked.

"Shut up, Bass." There was no way she was coming down from this high any time soon. How quickly everything changes.

Chuck held out his had, and she took it, helping them both up. Chuck started walking to the bar, but then turned to Blair, motioning around him. "Want to help me clean up this mess you made before we start planning my dear sister's downfall?" He just looked so good, smugly pointing at the broken glass and scotch stains, eyes all alight. Blair stopped moving. Her head was spinning.

"I love you. I really do." Blair surprised herself when she said it. She knew it was true, she'd known for way too long, but she barely admitted herself, and now to say it out loud.......

He'd already said it. He said it first. She was allowed to say it, right? The way he was looking at her, she wasn't sure. He looked, scared?

Suddenly, a smiled broke on his face and he moved to her, running his hands up her arms to her face. He pulled her into him, instinctively, and their met lips again, with even more fire than earlier. When they finally came up for air, Chuck's eyes searched Blair's, and she stared back, happy and yet confused.

He pressed his forehead to hers and whispered to her softly, "You are worth it. You're so worth it. You're worth everything. Every time."

She realized he was worried about what he'd said earlier, and she smiled gratefully, because that certainly would have bothered her tomorrow. Today, however, she had Chuck in her arms, telling her he loved her, and that she was worth it. And really, that made everything – the yelling, the crying, the hurting – that made it all okay, because this was perfect, this was real.

"Hey Chuck?"

"Yeah Blair?"

"Maybe you can work on making everything up to me, after we take care of…some things…"

The words were barely out of her mouth, and they were on his bed, once again, completely lost in each other.


End file.
